Pasta Gluttony would be a good name for a restaurant, don't you think?

Yes, I know that it is ridiculous that the week after I swore not to neglect you anymore, my Monday review is a day late. I suck and I apologize.
Sooo, last week. Last week = not good. Last week, we went on an impromptu date and I blew a gabillion calories on some seriously, incredibly, almost laughingly sub-par pasta. I did not realize that tortellini could taste bad. Never, since the Great Tortellini Awakening of 2000, have I tasted such bad tortellini. And yet, I gobbled it all up, Alfredo sauce that tasted like it was from a jar and all. How gross does food have to be before I stop eating it? Anyone?
In other news of Last Week, a week that will live in infamy, I realized that, even though my doctor told me it was really important to come back in six months to re-check my cholesterol levels and see if I need some sort of medication to keep me, you know, alive, it's been almost a year since I totally listened to him say that and took every word to heart. Good thing you don't really need a heart to live, right? Geez.
The only good thing I managed to do Last Week was work in a walk after the Pasta Gluttony and before the movie portion of the date (my husband and I are very adventurous on the dates: dinner, movie. We like to think outside the box.). The bad news is that it's surprisingly hard to hustle and get a good brisk walk going when you a) are full of sub-par pasta, and b) have a desperate need to mock the emo teenagers who think they are hard core hanging out in down town Boise of all places. It's hard to mock and gasp for breath at the same time. Someone should look into that. Snarky people need to work out, too.
So that was my week. How was your' s? Do you waste calories on anything edible, or do you insist on some level of tastiness? Do you know of some revolutionary exercise technique that would allow me to snark and work out at the same time? Have you thought of patenting it?